Chapter 14. Epilogue


Alas, the journey is over. But what a ride!

So, in the final episode of this admittedly ridiculous prehistoric science fantasy romp, the adventurers accomplished what exactly? Set the timeline aright? Nope. Saved the world from destruction? Not really. So, what then? Hmm, well…

Last time, having traveled back in time to just before the great cataclysm, the adventurers found a way to sequester the carbon in the atmosphere into a giant ball of ash that was directed into the ocean. As it struck, there was a blinding flash of light.

What happened next? They awoke with a ringing in their ears back in what was apparently their own time and in the Sink, except that much was changed. First of all, all of them had switched races: Hominids were now Saurians, and Saurians Hominids. Their pteradactyls had also become burrowing moles. Moreover, the world was still dominated by terrifying beasts, but instead of cyborg megafauna, it was hordes and hordes of furry robot death-puppies. When they discovered this, they promptly gathered whoever was present of their tribe and leapt through a portal to the Zone.

In the Zone, they found that the time-craft was now a giant pyramid presided over by a pharaoh named Elizabeth Jones, Queen of Gary. Her royal consort was the ever-eyepatched anti-hero Snake. A long line of spider-plant people were presenting the royal couple with sacrifices, which were cast into a flickering portal at the base of the pyramid. The adventurers likewise offered up a sacrifice: the elder Scraeeaczck. For some reason, they also attempted to pee on the portal just to see what happened. A strange static-electric tingle crept up the stream to lightly electrocute them. Jerking away, they accidently got some pee on one of the guards, who then drew his khopesh and attacked. The ensuing melee ended up with many dumped into the portal, including Snake and the Queen of Gary.

Next, they attempted to gain entry into the pyramid via their formerly-pteradactylic moles, and popped up inside the pyramid. Passing into the pyramid’s innards caused them a number of strange mutations. They then discovered that all that had gone through the portal had also simply been transported inside the pyramid. It turned out that the Queen of Gary was a Spark-talker with an amber Deep Device, and their duel with her was a bitter one. They finally defeated the Queen when Feather created a wind/vacuum that pushed/sucked her out the portal the other way.

Finally, they got the pyramid, which was indeed the time-craft, running again, and took it up into space with the goal of establishing dominance over space-time. They began it traveling through time, but stopped it mid-process. Thus forever suspended in time, they became permanent and unaging denizens of the time stream itself. From such an abstractly lofty perch, they could perceive all the various timelines, but they felt increasingly distant and insignificant as their entire existence merged into a single, seamless moment of pure white experience.

So, what did the adventurers accomplish in the end? Did they become gods of time? Maybe, though they’ll never know if anyone shall ever worship them, or even learn that they exist.




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